DEAR ABBY >> I belong to a family that doesnt respond to RSVPs for weddings or wedding showers. They often arrive late, leave weddings early and sometimes dont stay to eat at the reception even when it has been catered at a cost of $100 a person.
My adult children always ask me to call my siblings to check whether they are coming or not so some of their friends can be included if the family isnt coming. I just spoke with my brother about an upcoming wedding, and he informed me that he and his family may decide to extend their camping trip and miss it, even though they had RSVPd with their meal selections.
My wife was raised to observe the rules of etiquette, something she has passed on to our four children, but my family never received that kind of instruction. I love my siblings and their families, and feel privileged whenever we get together to celebrate a wedding or special event. How can I improve the situation without hurting feelings and creating turmoil?
DEAR PEACEMAKER >> Ill resist the urge to suggest you buy your relatives a book on etiquette. Start by explaining the rules to your siblings in a non-confrontational way. For instance, after you send an invitation, call and verify that the recipients plan to attend. If the answer is maybe, tell them the meals cost $100 a plate, which is why its important to have an accurate head count. Advertisement
Because they dont know any better, I suppose its your responsibility to explain the rules of common courtesy to your family each time you invite them to join you for anything. When your brother told you he and his family might extend their camping trip, I hope you responded that you would be taking them off the guest list and hope theyll have a great time.
DEAR ABBY >> Im almost 20, in my second year of college, and I have never been in a relationship. Usually I shrug it off, but lately it has been really bothering me. I know Im not alone because a lot of my friends are in a similar situation. Im just afraid that Ill end up alone, or if I do ever find someone, I wont know how to act. Please help.
Frustrated in Clovis, Calif.
DEAR FRUSTRATED >> Ill try, so bear with me. Please quit flogging yourself. Youre in college and on a path to success. To obsess about ending up alone is a distraction and a waste of time. Stop being afraid of what might happen. Enjoy your college experience. Meet as many people as you can and make friends. The more friends you have, the greater your chances of finding what youre looking for.
As to not knowing how to act when you finally meet someone special, I guarantee that you will know how to act because you WONT BE ACTING. You will just be yourself, and that will be all you need.
Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order How to Have a Lovely Wedding. Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)
Saturday, May 19 2018